Top ten reasons our employees can't come to work.

Anthony Robertson

1 posts

12/5/2011 11:12 AM

10. I'm drunk.
9a. I was in jail.
9b. My ride was in jail.
8. My cousin got hit by a car.
7. My girlfriend rolled her truck 3 times and I have to pick her up in Florida.
6. I thought it was Saturday.
5. I have 2 flat tires.
4. My window fell out.
3. I got hit by a log.
2. My stomach is loose.
1. My grandma is having a pancreas transplant today.

Justin Murray

0 posts

12/5/2011 11:12 AM

I slipped and fell leaving the house this morning on my way to work. My steps had "Ice" on them.

In South Louisiana, Really! That was this week!

Andy Jorgensen

1 posts

12/5/2011 11:12 AM

15. I brought a chick home from the bar. She was still here when I woke up, so I had to cook her breakfast.
14. I couldn't find my shoes.
13. I'm still drunk.
12. It was raining at my house when I woke up.
11. The weather was perfect for shrimpin'. (Dataw representin')
10. It was cold, so I figured you wouldn't need me to come in and change the coolers since no one played.
9. I have anal glaucoma.
8. I crapped my pants and had to go buy new ones.
7. The Super Bowl ran late.
6. I wrecked my car on the way to work and am now in the hospital.
5. I just remembered I had a Doctors appointment.
4. The kids were off from school today, and I had to babysit.
3. I'm in jail. (Heard that one several times)
2. I have to work at my other job.
1. I was volunteering with the Sheriffs office until 4am.

Wise John H

12/5/2011 12:12 PM

They put a new red light up on my way I drive to work.

John Wise
Oakbourne CC
Lafayette, La

Dennis Cook

1 posts

12/5/2011 12:12 PM

One I actually had to use when I was an assistant.

"Uh boss, I cant make it in until its light out."

"What do you mean you can't make it in?" he replies

"My headlights were stolen out of my car last night, so I wont be able to drive until it gets light"

Boss exclaims, "Thats the worst excuse I ever heard now get your butt in here"

So when i finally made it, here comes the sup and the mechanic out to the parking lot to check my car and low and behold, my aerodynamic headlight housings and bulbs were gone. Found out they cost around 200 bucks a piece, so now I understand why someone ripped them off.

Wahlin Scott B

12/5/2011 12:12 PM

This is a potentially funny thread that may degenerate into sophmoric banter. Don't you think you should take this to the 19th Hole? Hmmm?

Nowakowski Michael J

12/6/2011 4:12 PM

I can only think of two good ones from this last year;

The cops came and took my roommate away last night, but I called them back and told them they had the wrong guy, so they came back and took me away.

It was my sisters birthday yesterday, and she got so drunk she got alcohol poisoning, so I had to take her to the hospital, but i don't have a car or license, so another 2 staff had to go with me, and that is why 3 of us are missing today.

Hardy Andrew

12/8/2011 7:12 AM

My all-time fave is "I've been throwing up all night". I'm 39 and haven't ever thrown up all night. Am I missing out or what??

Had a guy a few years ago miss a whole week with a major sunburn from a drunken weekend at the cottage. He didn't last long when he returned.

A young guy this year rode a motorcycle rain or shine. He ask me to re-program my entire irrigation schedule so the heads along the driveway didn't get him wet in the mornings. He too didn't last very long.

Brent Venenga

0 posts

12/8/2011 7:12 AM

Employee: I don't feel good I need to go home.

Superintendent: What's wrong?

Employee: I ate to much potato salad at my buddies graduation yesterday and I don't feel good.

Superintendent: How much beer were you drinking with that potato salad?

Peter Bowman

11 posts

12/8/2011 8:12 AM

"I just heard on the news I could get 99 weeks unemployment."

Clay Putnam

33 posts

12/8/2011 9:12 AM

Got this one years ago from Shorty who has a very deep southern drawl:

Shorty - "Boss, I'z not feel'n so good."

Me - "What's wrong Shorty?"

Shorty - "Well, I'z feels strange. I'z knows I'z here but I'z feelz likes I'z over there."

Wahlin Scott B

12/8/2011 10:12 AM

kkisaok said: My all-time fave is "I've been throwing up all night". I'm 39 and haven't ever thrown up all night. Am I missing out or what??

I got food poisoning last year and it felt like it went all night; took me three days to recover.

Robert Crockett

4 posts

12/8/2011 10:12 AM

Forgot to get up

Larry Allan

0 posts

12/8/2011 11:12 AM

The day after Frank was absent from work

Me> Hey Frank, lets take a look at the tire you had fixed yesterday
Frank> Sure man
We go over to Franks truck
Frank> I think it was this one
Me>that tire doesn't look like it's been off, Frank.
Frank> Oh ya, maybe it was this one
Me> Hey Frank, You're lying about the tire, aren't you Frank?
Frank> Ya man, I'm lying...I was in jail, but I felt like less of a criminal by making up a story
Me> OK man, see ya tomorrow
Frank> Yep, see ya tomorrow man

Robinson John B

12/9/2011 4:12 AM

JustinM said: I slipped and fell leaving the house this morning on my way to work. My steps had "Ice" on them.

In South Louisiana, Really! That was this week!

I could see this as a possibility. The ice was probably from the adult beverage they were carrying out with them for their ride to work... We really shouldn't doubt our employees like this. (insert heavy sarcasm here)

John B. Robinson

Robinson John B

12/9/2011 4:12 AM

wahlins said: This is a potentially funny thread that may degenerate into sophmoric banter. Don't you think you should take this to the 19th Hole? Hmmm?

Perhaps you are right Scott but isn't it quite possible that the 19th hole itself may be culpable in this threads existence by creating many of these "reasons" to not be at work?

John B. Robinson

Ben Ellis

0 posts

12/9/2011 9:12 AM

We had an employee tell us he was diagnosed with lung cancer and has to go to chemo every saturday or he may or may not be on Sunday depending how he feels.

He never seemed to take off any other time for a doctors appointment....and he smokes on the job, go figure.

Bowden Max

12/9/2011 10:12 AM

Going through the records of a previous superintendent I found where an a former employee of his called in sick. The Dr. had told him he had Cat Scratch Fever.

MM

Satterwhite Kerry

12/9/2011 1:12 PM

I had a kid who told me his mom died...twice. After I let him go he got a job at another course, and he told that Superiontendent his mom died and he was off for about a week. The other Super and I still get a laugh about it.

Keith Pegg

0 posts

12/10/2011 8:12 PM

Had an employee tell me he had been with the company 3 months and probation was over so he didn't care. His words "you can't fire me now". It was 89 days and his last day, I even had a check ready.

Keith
Zama Golf

James Smith

113 posts

12/13/2011 1:12 PM

Ok true story here, I had one employee that had been notoriously late all of the time (she worked in the Pro Shop) so the board decided to cut her hours to one day per week and she was still coming in late (a members daughter) and yet they never wrote her up. When I was moved to organize our office she was moved to work under my supervision and I sat her down and told her I would not tolerate tardiness and she would have three chances to straighten up and that I was the only one at the club that believed she could do it, I even moved her hours to start at noon. Well slowly she had one written warning after another and I suspended her for three days due to being tardy. On the day she was supposed to return she called me up at noon and said she overslept, She then said I guess that means I do not have a job, I told her she finally got something right and she then said thanks as pretty as she could.
Some people just do not want to work.

Kevin Girt

0 posts

12/13/2011 1:12 PM

Had 3 guys working for me that were 5 to 10 minutes late every day, which I had to tolerate due to different reasons but any way, one day they were 15 minutes late so I asked what was up since they all rode together. The comment from the boy that drove was, The line was longer than normal at the METHADONE CLINIC! :evil:

Timothy Strano

0 posts

12/14/2011 10:12 AM

I'm having trouble with my eyes.

What's wrong?

I can't see myself working today.

Melvin Waldron

43 posts

12/14/2011 10:12 AM

My excuse the last two weeks was shingles, "so your putting on a new roof"?

Mel

Melvin H. Waldron III, CGCS, Horton Smith Golf Course, City of Springfield/Greene County MO

Nicholas Daak

3 posts

12/14/2011 11:12 AM

I was having trouble getting situated with a new job and needed a couple of medications. Well one was a pill to help me sleep at night. I accidently took that pill in the morning instead of the other one. I realized it when my crew thought I was dead sitting at my desk. Kind of hard to explain to them and the board.

Jeremy Hreben

0 posts

12/14/2011 1:12 PM

I actually had a guy come in on time, early in fact. I , on the other hand, was alittle late. My assistant told me that so and so might be drunk. I went out on the course to look for him. He was changing cups. So i went in order and stopped at #8. All cups were changed up to 8. He was no where to be found. So i drove back to the shop. He left! I know this cause his bike was gone! Go figure, a 40 year old man riding his bike to work. Well 5 hours later he called me saying he is sooooooooo sorry for over sleeping!!!!!

Matthew Enderson

1 posts

12/14/2011 1:12 PM

Once had a kid miss two consecutive days because his boots were too wet to work in. He was let go when he tried to come to work on the third day.

Andy Jorgensen

1 posts

12/14/2011 2:12 PM

I had a guy do something just completely idiotic this past summer. It was July 4th and he had to mow greens on that day. Because he had family in town and wanted to get home early, he showed up at 2:30 am to mow greens and was done slightly after 5:00. He figured that since it was after midnight he was completing his job correctly since "we mow greens everyday" and it was his job to do it, so he got it done.

Same guy is now my spray tech.

Andy Jorgensen

1 posts

12/14/2011 2:12 PM

Also, at one of my previous positions, the guy I replaced would call in frost delays from his house, while in bed, hungover. On one particular day, he called in a delay until around 10:00. Needless to say since his house was about 30 minutes away, there was no frost and the pro was irate. The next day the GM went down to fire him and the guy was a no-show. Had to fire the next day when he rolled in around 10:00.

Paul Webb

0 posts

12/16/2011 11:12 AM

I'm impressed by the quality employees that you guys have, most of my experiences involve them not showing up and either calling a month later for a check or disappearing.

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